Q & A – Wedding & Bridal Shower Invitation in 1

QUESTION:

Hello there!

I have a question that is not specifically about a wedding invitation as we are having a small, private ceremony. However, we are planning a bridal shower and a separate wedding shower. Of course, the bridal shower is just for the ladies and the wedding shower is for the couples. However, I am not expecting people to come to both (unless the want to). Yet, I would like to send only one invitation to save on postage. The events are two weeks apart. Any suggests on how I can nicely word the invitation? And, should I include and rsvp card or just a phone number?

Thanks in advance for your advice.

Annette

ANSWER:

Hi, Annette~

Thanks for submitting your question.

Can you clarify exactly what you are asking? Are you saying you want to send one invitation that will invite guests to both the bridal shower and the wedding shower?

If that is what you are asking, I would say this is a situation that etiquette does not have an answer for. My initial reaction is that you should send separate invitations for each event, but I also understand your need for saving money on postage.

First, let me give you some very basic etiquette on wedding and bridal shower invitations:

Typically you want to include the location, have some indication as to what the attire is, registry information, etc. When you pick out the wedding and/or bridal shower invitation paper, you will want to choose it to match the wedding and/or bridal shower color scheme and theme. If the theme is not obvious from the look of the invitation paper, you will want to mention the theme on the invitation.

Showers can be held nearly anywhere. Often people like to have them at restaurants or have them catered so that there is less stress on the host/hostess. If not held at restaurants, you can have them at the home of someone or if you are nature-lovers, you may want to have it at a nice park. Make sure to include a map or directions in with the wedding and/or bridal shower invitation, so that everyone will be able to find the place without calling. Also be sure to add R.S.V.P. information. That way you know how much food to have available.

Proper etiquette says that the wedding and/or bridal shower invitations should be sent out six weeks before the shower date. Showers can be held as far as six months prior to the wedding date.

If you decide to do only one invitation, I suggest the invitation be formatted as I discussed above. I would include one separate invitation for each separate event, combined in one mailing envelope. You could include one RSVP card that says something like:

Yes, we will attend the wedding shower only. # of guests _____
Yes, we will attend the bridal shower only. # of guests ______
Yes, we will attend BOTH events. # of guests ____________
No, we cannot attend either event.

You will also need to include a pre-posted return envelope for the RSVP card.

If you do not want to pay for postage for the return RSVP cards, you can ask for RSVP’s by phone or e-mail. If you choose to go this route, you can include an RSVP card or a note at the bottom of the invitation that says something like:

Please RSVP via telephone at 555-1212 or by e-mail at bob@bob.com by June 10

And then also include the RSVP options I already listed above.

As I mentioned, I think it is important you include an invitation for each event, instead of trying to have info for both events on one invitation. You don’t have to spend a lot on the invitations (just purchase some fancy paper and print them on your home printer if needed).

Here is some sample wedding shower invitation text:

Please join us for
An informal garden party themed Wedding Shower in honor of
Jane & John Doe
On Saturday, June 17th
At 4:00 p.m.
Lakeshore Gardens
47 Anywhere Drive
Los Angeles, California
John & Jane are registered at Target

Here is some sample bridal shower invitation text:

Please join us
For a tea party themed bridal shower honoring
Jane Doe
Saturday June 17, 4 pm
Lakeshore Gardens
47 Anywhere Drive, Los Angeles
Please RSVP by June 10
Jane is registered at Los Angeles House and Home

I hope this information is helpful in making your decision, Annette! Please do not hesitate to let me know if have additional questions, or need clarification on something. And congratulations on your upcoming wedding!

Best Wishes,
Eve-Maridy