QUESTION:

You said on your website:

“An Accommodation Card can be included to help your out-of-town guests figure out what hotel they should stay in while they are in town for your wedding. Some savvy couples work with local hotels to negotiate a group rate (reduced room rate for guests in their “group”). This group rate information should be included on the accommodation card.”

Can you give me an example of what exactly to say. I am horrible at making up formal sentences. Thank you so much.

Elizabeth Read the rest of this entry »

QUESTION:

Hi,

I found your article via Google, and was hoping you might clarify something. We have an officiant who is both a reverend and a justice of the peace. As far as I know, he does not have his own church, so making a donation to the church is out.

Should we tip him? He’s conducting a short rehearsal for us, as well. And if so, what is the correct amount?

I’ve seen some sites that say you absolutely don’t tip a reverend, as it belittles their profession. Others say it should be no more than $75, and yet others say it should be $75-$100.

Thanks very much for your time.

Barbara C. Read the rest of this entry »

QUESTION:

How do we determine what [vendors] would like for a meal [at the wedding reception]? Do we just ask them?

Thanks!

-Jenn Read the rest of this entry »

QUESTION:

If a per person charge for a wedding is $100 do you calculate the 18% gratuity and the 7% tax per person, separately on the $100 and then add them together or do you add the gratuity to the $100 and then pay taxes on that figure? Thank you for your assistance.

Thanks,

Barbara Read the rest of this entry »

QUESTION:

Hi Eve-Maridy,

Because we wanted to keep our wedding small, we only invited adults, not children (except for immediate family and a cousin flying in from the other coast, who’ll spend a week with his parents after our wedding).

We tried to make this clear by using inner envelopes with the invitations; the envelopes had the names of only the adults (or, only the invited guests). For example, “Jane and Bob,” instead of “Jane, Bob, Billie, and Jimmy.”

Most guests responded accordingly (“Jane and Bob will attend…”). However, one couple listed their own as well as their children’s names on the reply card. My mother called them to gently explain that the children were not invited (or, that the wedding is adult-only, except for immediate family). The couple protested that the pre-printed hotel reservation card included with the invitation materials mentioned the price of a child’s stay (in light font, under where one checked off “double” or “single”). Needless to say, it was an awkward conversation.

I think perhaps they should have checked with us if they were unclear; after all, other guests understood their children were not included in the invitation. In any case, they are now saying they may not be able to attend.

We don’t want to make an exception for them, as that seems unfair to the many other guests who have had to arrange childcare (AND as we don’t want many children beyond the few already attending).

Are we rude in sticking to our original plans (no children), or should we make an exception (and then feel sheepish to the many other guests whose children were left with a sitter—or perhaps find ourselves making other exceptions, until half the guest bring children)?

Also, should I drop them a personal note if they end up declining? They are, for what it’s worth, family friends of my mother and brother; they are not people I am particularly close to or would have invited if left to my own devices.

Best regards,
Julia Read the rest of this entry »

QUESTION:

I have a quick question regarding the wording for my daughters wedding invitation. The ceremony and reception will be held at the same place. Your website says that a reception card is not needed if the reception is held at the same location as the ceremony. My question is: should we put something at the end of the invitation after the location address that says “Reception will immediately follow” or something like that?

Thanks. Read the rest of this entry »

QUESTION:

Hello!

I have a bit of a dilemma. What’s the best, most diplomatic way to include on our wedding invitations that the reception will not have alcohol? And if I decide to have just a champagne toast, how would I include that, as well?

We specifically do NOT want alcohol served (except for a possible champagne toast and they may decide against that, as well.) It’s pretty tricky because I think guests will assume that alcohol will be there, so there could be disappointment. Thanks so much for your help!

Thanks so much for the advice.

Larry in Virginia Read the rest of this entry »

QUESTION:

Dear Eve,

One more invitation question: My mother and friend (both calligraphers) were going to address the envelopes, then my mother found someone who prints them so that they look like calligraphy. The printer claims the printing is flat, not raised, so the envelopes don’t look machine-done. Is it tacky to have the envelopes printed, rather than addressing them by hand? I do think handwriting gives a personal touch, but this will save us some time.

Thanks,
Julia Read the rest of this entry »

QUESTION:

Hi,

We’re getting married in June.

Are we supposed to send invitations to the vendors? (That includes DJ, photographer, cellist, JP, and the event coordinator at the site.)

Thanks,
Julia Read the rest of this entry »

For weddings or private events where there will be guests flying in from out-of-town, it is courteous (in the case of weddings) and mandatory (in the case of corporate events) to reserve a room block in a local hotel or hotels so your attendees have somewhere to stay while they’re in town.

Before you contact a hotel to set up a room block, you must first figure out approximately how many rooms you will need for your guests. If you have the luxury of a confirmed fly-in guest list, you can assume 75% of them will want a room in your block. So, take your confirmed fly-in # x .75 and you’ll get your room block #.

If you don’t have a confirmed fly-in guest list, you’ll have to make an educated guest. Based on your event, you probably have an idea of who will come. Take that # x .75, and you’ll have a basic idea of your room block #. Read the rest of this entry »