QUESTION:

Hi Eve-Maridy,

Because we wanted to keep our wedding small, we only invited adults, not children (except for immediate family and a cousin flying in from the other coast, who’ll spend a week with his parents after our wedding).

We tried to make this clear by using inner envelopes with the invitations; the envelopes had the names of only the adults (or, only the invited guests). For example, “Jane and Bob,” instead of “Jane, Bob, Billie, and Jimmy.”

Most guests responded accordingly (“Jane and Bob will attend…”). However, one couple listed their own as well as their children’s names on the reply card. My mother called them to gently explain that the children were not invited (or, that the wedding is adult-only, except for immediate family). The couple protested that the pre-printed hotel reservation card included with the invitation materials mentioned the price of a child’s stay (in light font, under where one checked off “double” or “single”). Needless to say, it was an awkward conversation.

I think perhaps they should have checked with us if they were unclear; after all, other guests understood their children were not included in the invitation. In any case, they are now saying they may not be able to attend.

We don’t want to make an exception for them, as that seems unfair to the many other guests who have had to arrange childcare (AND as we don’t want many children beyond the few already attending).

Are we rude in sticking to our original plans (no children), or should we make an exception (and then feel sheepish to the many other guests whose children were left with a sitter—or perhaps find ourselves making other exceptions, until half the guest bring children)?

Also, should I drop them a personal note if they end up declining? They are, for what it’s worth, family friends of my mother and brother; they are not people I am particularly close to or would have invited if left to my own devices.

Best regards,
Julia Read the rest of this entry »

QUESTION:

I have a quick question regarding the wording for my daughters wedding invitation. The ceremony and reception will be held at the same place. Your website says that a reception card is not needed if the reception is held at the same location as the ceremony. My question is: should we put something at the end of the invitation after the location address that says “Reception will immediately follow” or something like that?

Thanks. Read the rest of this entry »